Shock: When people are physically in shock we cover them with a warm
blanket. Take care of yourself:
- Take "time out" just for you even if it?s only 10 minutes a day.
- Eat regular meals that include fruit and vegies.
- Read a book, listen to some music.
- Get some good sleep.
- Cry as long and as often as you need: it?s a natural reaction.
- Talk about your feelings.

Ask for help. Find someone who will listen. (See Useful Contacts at the end of this book). Take any assistance that is offered.

Anger: options to deal with anger:
- Write it out: Work through your anger by keeping a journal or
by writing letters BUT don"t mail them. It"s a way of putting down
what you think and feel and standing back and looking at what you
have written.

- Shout it out: Wind up the windows in your car or put your head
in a pillow, and scream. It helps to get rid of the negative energy in your body.

- Talk it out: Instead of directing your anger at your ex, talk to
a friend or seek help with a professional who specialises in anger
management.

Take responsibility for your part of the relationship break-up: It"s rare that only one partner is solely at fault. Recognising what makes you angry can help to fi nd the triggers and old patterns so that you can take steps to stop repeating them. Think about the important issues: Talking about every little irritation provokes resentment: let go of the small stuff.

Bargaining: Ask yourself:
- What would the situation look like in 12 months time if I did??
- What would the benefi ts be?

Change: Establish a plan for the future and set goals for 6 and 12 months ahead